How do we cross from a sleeping to a waking state? Who pays attention to that? How likely is our Waking Self primed to observe–and take notes–as our Sleeping Self begins to stir?

Maybe it can’t be done. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Sleep seems a pleasant and an inviting mystery. We participate willingly every chance we get. And we’ve been known to neglect it as well.

Waking, however, can be troublesome, if one’s waking thoughts are unsettling.

I came to understand this a few years back, when I realized that my “second second” of the day was already filled with apprehension.

The first second of waking I experienced the realization that I was awake. The second second? The demands of the day crowded in. Before I had raised my head, stirred the sheets, or put one foot on the floor, I was already falling behind.

My “To Do and To Pay” list met me every morning like Hungry Hounds. They gobbled up my confidence. I felt cornered by my circumstances and obligations. Rising from my bed meant resigning myself to my shortcomings.

At the time, I didn’t know to bounce out of bed and holler “BRING IT ON!” I only felt pressed to face my debts and difficulties with honor, somehow. Still, I gradually came to realize that my waking thoughts were defeating me.

That raised the question: Could I alter my waking thoughts? Could I choose what to think? I didn’t know, but I determined to try.

I made a timid start, waking again to the Hounds as usual. But the Hungry Hounds had to sit while I diverted my thinking to . . . what else?

Supposing . . . gratitude?

I chose to direct my thoughts to anything in my life that made me grateful. Surprisingly, there were many! I kept still under my bed covers while I spread my thoughts upon my blessings. I thanked God for His goodness, and wondered why it felt new to me.

It took a little longer to roll out of bed, since I was so purposefully engaged. But when I did, I knew I felt better, by a marginal measure. I determined I would try it again the next day, and the next. I would choose my waking thoughts in my waking moments.

It’s been seven-or-so years since that first “awakening.” I didn’t master my “second seconds” in a matter of days. it took a lot of practice and repetition. But I saw my dread diminish by degrees. The pushy “To Do and To Pay” list remained. It required my daily attention still. But it had lost a bit of its bite.

That was a turning point for me. It started me observing my own thinking in additional areas of my life. It helped me begin to understand the power of choice on a basic, intensely personal level.

Changes have been gradual, but noticeable and real. With steady practice–even unsteady–I’ve grown more and more acquainted with my own potential. I can choose my thoughts and responses to life’s circumstances! This selection is a privilege, even if some events aren’t.

Or, maybe the events are, and that’s a subject for another day.

I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.  Psalms 3:5

Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.  Ephesians 5:14